Burning Down the House

I've spent the past hour out in the parking lot (no not trying to make rent). Someone was cooking dinner on the stove top, forgot about it, and when it was on fire threw it down the trash chute. I knew it was a real fire when all the cops showed up so I walked down the stairs and got dizzy as shit. I was discussing developments with several people and we all shared the consensus that somebody needed an ass whooping. One person in the group said "I can't even imagine it" and then I saw this movie play out in my head -'Oh my god, the bacon's on fire!' 'What do I do?' 'Throw it out! No! Not in the trash, get rid of it, throw it down the trash chute!', and they go jogging down 100 feet of hallway with a flaming pan to dump it down 12 floors onto a ton of garbage.

And I cracked up. It was hysterical. I acted it out for everyone and I was still laughing when I turned the corner of my floor and ran into Disco Britches who pulled a Margret Dumont, hoisting anchor and tossing his head to starboard, drawing into home port under full sail. I swear to god, do they not have gay men in Poland or is his wife missing part of her brain?

Better than teevee, not as good as sex. All in all, not a bad night.