Where's My Money, Bitch!

I got a letter from my 401k company today, one of those thin, single-page ones that mean something's up. One page letters from any institution are like getting calls in the night- never good news.

I thought maybe they were telling me that things had gotten so bad I owed them money, but all they wanted was for me to update my mailing address. I've been in my new apartment for five months and hadn't done it yet. They'd gotten my new address from the post office and the letter had a note of concern to it, much more so than when they wrote to let me know they'd lost half my money, and wanted me to correct this oversight at my earliest convenience. I don't know why they copped an attitude- I didn't write a huffy letter to them when they lost half my money and at first I wasn't going to do it. Let them sweat it out for a while, call the mail room a few times and see if anybody's heard from me. But then I thought the next letter I'd get would be them telling me they lost everything because, during an important business meeting to decide my financial future, they couldn't reach me since they didn't have my updated contact information, and it would come postage due.

So I signed onto the site and updated my address. Right before I logged off, next to the button, was a question asking me what I was looking for? and a search box. So I typed in 'pussy' but apparently that's not a service they provide. Which is a shame because I'm pretty sure it would be a popular and go a long way to making up for that losing half my cash thing.