Disco Fever

I'm a toon magnet. Some of you already know this about me. The rest of you would if the voices in your head would give you a freakin' break already. I've already moved once since I lived on Capitol Hill; both times to get away from noisy neighbors. I get to my new apartment on the top floor of a high rise- large, view of the river, and the guy next door to me is a snowflake. A special, special snowflake and I am roaching his buzz. I went through the whole talking to him thing, the calling the police thing, the pretending that I gave a damn while we hammered out a solution thing, and now I'm doing the asshole thing. He wants me to text him whenever his music is too loud, so I do. A lot.

About three weeks ago he started getting noisier and I sent him 3 or 4 texts over a week. Finally I'd had it and sent him the following, I've copied the texts exactly as I got them except for the arty line breaks he used to jazz them up:

Me-
(Dick Next Door), I'm counting on you to ensure there is an amicable solution to the noise situation, but I'm not going to keep asking. Please turn your stereo down. cc/file (I did this to piss him off.)

Dick Next Door-
Message one
Why...do we have a problem...you and I! I have given and have confirmed to the needs you have for all this time and without complaint. Shall I continues...

Message two
shall I give...and give to your silence...?...Without you giving...back...to my dance and the sounds that influence that dance...?

Message three
I will always respect you...and treasure your being my neighbor....

Message four
if life is silence for you or me then we will always be in conflict...

Message five
sometimes life is louder than silence...Sometimes...life the sound of enjoyment...fun....spontaneity...and yes..the unpredictability..uncontrolled..and not..

Message six
Predicted...

Message seven
I will be more conscious of my music...as long as you too are are more conscious of what drives other people...please...not only you.

Message eight
Respect...is a street we (both) travel on!

I know, right? Drag queens have more restraint. I bet the guy shits glitter.